


Familiar Faces

by luts_n_attics26



Series: Helluva Boss/Invader Zim Crossover [1]
Category: Helluva Boss (Web Series), Invader Zim
Genre: Nowhere near canon, This Is STUPID, This is DUMB, i had an idea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:02:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22085347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luts_n_attics26/pseuds/luts_n_attics26
Summary: Blitzo is excited about their latest customer, a human. Moxxie has issues with the whole thing.
Series: Helluva Boss/Invader Zim Crossover [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1603195
Comments: 16
Kudos: 84





	1. Past Secrets

Every demon has a story. A story of sin, tragedy, and much more. Blitz ~~o~~ was a carnie with a passion for blood. Millie was a sweet farm girl ready to fight for the honor of those she loved. And Moxxie, as far as anyone knew, was a musician that killed the competition.

* * *

It was a normal day at work. Blitz ~~o~~ babying Loona, Loona messing with Moxxie, Moxxie doting on Millie, and Millie being precious.

"Loona! I told you **NOT** to leave the grenades out!" Moxxie shouted at the receptionist. There were grenades just lying out and about on the floor.

"Put them away yourself," the hellhound scoffed. Loona went back to killing a virtual Moxxie. Moxxie groaned and started on Loona's job. _Bring Bring._ It was the phone. A rare occurrence. "Hello, I.M.P."

"I have a target for you guys,"

"Good, or else you're wasting my time,"

"It's a bit unusual," the caller said hesitantly.

"Kids die for free,"

"Not a kid, but um, uh," the caller gulped, "Is there any way I could talk to you guys in person?"

Loona groaned, "Yeah, you can just come by our office,"

"I can't do that,"

"Why not?"

"I haven't figured out how to get to Hell without dying,"

"Let me talk to Blitz," she hung up.

"What's the issue?" Moxxie picked up the last grenade.

Loona started towards Blitz ~~o~~ 's office, "A living person called,"

Moxxie moved closer, "How's that possible?"

"I don't know," Loona's tone got harsher, "That's why I'm telling Blitz," she grabbed the doorknob and saunter in.

"What's the issue Loony?" Blitz ~~o~~ looked form behind his desk.

"We've got a living client who wants to talk face to face,"

Blitz ~~o~~ ran from behind his desk, "Well, let's go!"

* * *

On the other side of the portal was a cemetery. The rest of the world was darker than Blitz ~~o~~ had remembered, but hey, the times have changed. Slowly from behind one of the tombstones, a guy showed himself.

"So are you our living caller?" Blitz ~~o~~ pointed at the guy.

"Yes," he took a deep breath and stood proud, "My name is Dib Membrane and I want you to kill an alien."


	2. Same Old

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tags say this is dumb, but fair warning. It's dumber than you think.

"So," Blitz ~~o~~ rounded up all of his employees, "We have a new target. Now, this is going to be different than anything we've done so far and will ever do," he looked at all of their faces. Loona doesn't care, Millie is excited, and Moxxie is concerned. "This living human wants us to track down an alien and kill it," Blitz ~~o~~ paused for drama.

"How are we gonna do that, I'm not sure that aliens are really out there?" Millie piped up.

Moxxie tried to hide his panic and fear. _Aliens, we're dealing with aliens. Is this some kind of really weird punishment just for me? And I bet I know who placed the hit and who's the target._

"Oh, he showed me the proof, Millie. There is an alien walking around his town,"

"Did you say _track down_ the alien?" Moxxie questioned.

Blitz ~~o~~ nodded, "From what I've been told he knows that there is an alien there, knows the alien hasn't left, but not the exact location,"

"Can we even kill an alien?" Moxxie voice started shaking.

Blitz ~~o~~ patted Moxxie's horns, "Don't you worry about a thing, the kid is even going with us!"

"IT'S A KID?" Millie stood up, slammed her hands against the table, "A kid got in contact with demons to help him murder an alien?"

"Yes," Blitz ~~o~~ strolled to the other side of the room, "Now we don't want to keep our client waiting," he opened the book and created the portal. Blitz ~~o~~ ran in and Millie cautiously entered.

 _I'm totally fucked._ Thought Moxxie as he slowly entered the living world.

* * *

 _Keep my mouth shut and it all be good._ Moxxie repeated until he came out the other side.

"You're finally here, great!" Blitz ~~o~~ dragged Dib away from Millie, "And this here is Millie's limp dick husband, Moxxie,"

Dib stuck out his hand, "Dib Membrane, a pleasure to be working with you," 

_Dib hasn't changed one bit, How long have I been dead for?_ Moxxie accepted but didn't look at the human.

Millie walked next to her husband, "So Dib, you're leading the hunt for the alien, where do we start?"

Dib pointed down the street, "Zim's lair is over there,"

* * *

The four of them stood in front of Zim's home.

"Be careful, the front yard is laced with lasers," Dib warned the crew. They cautiously made their way to the front door. "Zim's security system isn't working," he looked up at the rest of the house, "What happened?" Dib presses the doorbell.

"We're breaking into an alien's house and you rang the doorbell," Blitz ~~o~~ put his hand(claw?) on his forehead. Inside they heard lots of shuffling, stuff falling and robotic crying.

Soon a small robot burst out and attached itself on Dib's leg, "Mary!" the robot wailed.

Dib attempted to pry it off, "Gir, what's wrong? Where's Zim?"

More robotic crying, "Asleep for too long!"

_Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so stupid. I read the comments from the last chapter, nobody predicted this level of absurdity.


	3. Cat and Mouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh Spaghetti-Os

Dib finally got Gir off his leg, "Wait, what happened?" Moxxie started sweating profusely.

"I found some cheese, and ate it, sold my liver to Gaz, and brought Master a present, but he refuses to wake up!"

Dib's eyes grew in horror, "IRKENS DON'T SLEEP!" he rushed inside.

Blitz ~~o~~ grabbed Dib's shoulder, "If we find out that the alien is dead, I'm keeping the money," the others walked in, searching every corner.

"Wake up Master!" Gir shrieked as he attached himself to Moxxie. Moxxie struggles to pry him off and gets too close to shouting at him before Millie saves the day.

"There, there sweetie," she cradles him like a child, "We'll wake up your Master," she coddles him. Gir starts to hum as an indication of sleep.

Moxxie's panic attack is getting worse. _Dib knows how to enter my lair, Gir is going to annoy me and I'm going to shout, Millie has practically adopted him, she and Blitz ~~o~~ are going to soon wonder about my silence, I've got to get everyone out!_

In the back of the group, backing himself into a corner he turns and whispers, "Computer, get rid of everyone inside the lair,"

_**I'M AFRAID I CAN'T DO THAT, MASTER! THE SYSTEM IS TOO DAMAGED!** _

Everyone jumped at the loud, electronic voice that rang through the whole house.

"ZIM IS IN THE HOUSE!" Dib screamed as he flushed himself down the toilet.

"Master," Gir started to whimper while clutching on to Millie.

Blitz ~~o~~ looked at the toilet, "No," he said right before he ripped it out showing the entrance to the rest of the lair. He jumped down to join Dib.

Millie handed Gir off to Moxxie, "I'll go first," she followed Blitz ~~o~~. Moxxie looked down at the once robot slave. He took a deep breath and jumped while clutching Gir.

* * *

At the bottom, Moxxie met up with the rest of the crew, "Moxxie distract Gir while we search for Zim," Dib ordered as he rushed to the main screen.

Moxxie dropped the robot onto the ground, "Master used to drop like that," Gir whimpered. Moxxie proceeded to sulk right there. _Of course, I got stuck with babysitting my former robot._ Gir reattached himself to Moxxie, "I want Master back," Gir continued to cry.

Millie looked back at him. _Sing to calm him down_ she mouthed to her husband. _Dib nor Gir have ever heard me sing, but how close is my talking voice to my singing voice?_

Moxxie decided to take that chance and sat down next to Gir, _"Peace is nice, peace is nice, peace is better than chicken and rice,"_ he quietly sang to Gir.

_"Peace, peace, peace,"_ they sang together, _"Nice, nice, nice,"_ Gir continued the rest of the peace song. _Abilities I got in Hell are saving my ass._

"Blitz! Millie! Moxxie! Gir! Come help me lift this up!" Dib shouted pointing to a large, alien object.

"Alright everybody, use those calves," Blitz ~~o~~ grunted.

"There's something under there, Moxxie can you get it?" Dib groaned.

_No, because that is my corpse under there._ He nodded and went under. He grabbed his lifeless arm. He stared at his cadaver, comparing his imp arm to his Irken arm. He reluctantly pulled his body out from under.

"That thing must've crushed him," Dib sighed looking at his enemy's body. Moxxie held back the tears. Dib sat down next to Moxxie. The imp pulled the human to comfort him, "He's really gone," Dib whispered.

Moxxie rubbed his shoulder, "I'm sorry," he whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's a depressing note to end on.


	4. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib now has a Zim corpse.

Tears started to form in Dib's eyes, "You know, after trying and failing for so long," he leaned more into Moxxie, "I started thinking it's not going to happen, I'm not going to win,"

Moxxie rubbed his shoulder, "But that's what you wanted, right?"

"I mean yeah, but," he stared at the lifeless eyes of Zim, "It's still so weird to see him like this,"

Gir walked over to Dib, "Is Master okay, Mary?"

Dib stood up and grabbed an arm of Zim's, "Yes," he lied. He started to drag the body towards the exit. Moxxie stayed where he was. _The latest thing of mechanical warfare that The Tallests sent to kill me, and it worked._ He turned to look at his body. _Crushed me so hard it damaged the Pak._

"Let's get going before I start to feel bad," Blitz ~~o~~ grabbed Moxxie by the shoulder to pull him up. The demons started working on making another portal to get them back once Dib had left the lab. "Ugh. We didn't even get to kill the alien,"

"Mox, are you okay?" Millie grabbed her husband's hand.

Moxxie didn't meet her eyes, "I'm fine,"

Millie held his chin, "You can tell me, Mox. I love you,"

Moxxie looked into her eyes and held her other hand, "I love you too,"

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Dib shouted from upstairs. He rushed back down to the imps. "MOXXIE!"

Moxxie froze in place. _Shit, he recognized my voice._

"Hey, what did Moxxie do?" Blitz ~~o~~ shouted from the almost complete portal.

Dib got right next to Moxxie and pointed his finger at him, "Zim?" he raised an eyebrow.

Gir heard this and he immediately rushed towards Moxxie, "Master?" he attached himself to the imp's leg.

Moxxie caught off guard, shouted, "GIR OFF!"

"AHA! That's exactly what and how Zim would yell at Gir!"

Moxxie got the robot off, "I've probably said this before, but the fact that you know makes you kinda weird,"

"Hold on, you're the alien?" Blitz ~~o~~ asked.

Millie looked down, "You never told me that,"

Moxxie lifted her chin up, "It's a weird thing to be the only alien in Hell,"

Dib gagged, "Zim got married,"

"Oh, fuck you, Dib,"

"How and when did you learn to play the guitar, sweetie?" Millie placed her hands on her husband's shoulders.

Moxxie grabbed his wife's waist, "I couldn't destroy the world in Hell, so I picked up some hobbies,"

"There's an alien that's a demon now," Dib was writing everything down in a notepad, "I can't wait to tell Gaz,"

Moxxie strolled over to his former arch-nemesis, "You know, I was going to let you dissect my corpse," he walked past to where his body lay, "But I'm going to stop you even after death. COMPUTER!"

**YES, MASTER!**

"Send a gift to the Tallests!"

**YES, MASTER! WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SEND?**

Moxxie pointed at his dead body, "This," he took one final look at his body as the computer sucked it up sent it off to the Irken Leaders.

"Zim! What are you doing?" Dib rushed over.

Moxxie ran to the now fully formed portal, "Winning!" he shouted as he jumped backward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel bad for Dib.


End file.
